McCarthy: I Want My MTG! Neutered Speaker Professes His Love ("I Will Never Leave That Woman. I Will Always Take Care Of Her.") And Appoints Her To Homeland Security Committee
Stupid far-right snowflakes cannot figure out when A&W is making fun of them.
Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-Georgia) has publicly supported more batshit crazy conspiracy theories than she has toes — such as Frazzledrip — and she has (on multiple occasions) expressed her approval for the idea of murdering elected Democrats. She harasses teenagers who have survived school massacres while voting to make those massacres more common. She speaks at neo-Nazi rallies. She said (less than two months ago) if she had led the Capitol Insurrection, everyone would have been armed and the mob would have “won”. She is the undisputed mainstream face of the 2023 GOP, with Kevin McCarthy’s balls in her handbag. The neutered McCarthy can’t stop singing: “I want my MTG!”
McCarthy, who in order to have House Speaker on his resume, gave control of the party over to the seditionists who would obliterate the remaining vestages of American democracy, recently affirmed his absolute loyalty to Greene.
I will never leave that woman. I will always take care of her. . . . If you’re going to be in a fight, you want Marjorie in your foxhole. When she picks a fight, she’s going to fight until the fight’s over. She reminds me of my friends from high school . . .
It’s an appropriate reference point. McCarthy has been using his position as Speaker as though he’s starring in a sequel of Mean Girls, denying Democrats seats on key committees for no reason other than revenge. Qevin wants complete control over who is allowed to sit at the cool kids table by the window.
There is apparently no limit to how much McCarthy will be forced to grovel to keep his job. Case in point:
Last Sunday, Congressman Michael McCaul (R-Texas) defended McCarthy’s placement of Green (who has described the worst terrorist attack on the country as a “hoax”) on the Homeland Security and Oversight Committees:
I will tell you, she has matured. I think she realizes she doesn’t know everything and she wants to learn . . . I think it’s incumbent upon more senior members to try . . . to educate her that these theories that she has are not accurate.
McCaul — exhibiting some unmistakable Susan “Lesson Learned” Collins vibes — said on Sunday Greene had matured.
That very same morning, Greene — who owns stock in three companies that manufacture the Covid-19 vaccine (AstraZeneca, Pfizer and Johnson & Johnson) — tweeted: “We have no idea what is in Covid vaccines. And they refuse to acknowledge the deadly side effects. It's time to force them to talk.”
The next day, Greene appeared on Tucker Carlson’s White Power Hour and, in chatting with the shameless man who publicly whines that he no longer gets hard when looking at M&M characters (they stole his boners, yo), referred to “the so-called pandemic”.
In 2021, Greene said she no longer believes some of shit she had posted a few years earlier — such as praising Trump’s presidency as “a once in a lifetime opportunity” to take down the “global cabal of Satan-worshiping pedophiles” — moronically claiming, “I was allowed to believe things that weren’t true.” (Since then, she has done nothing to show she has left those beliefs behind.)
Greene will mature and accept reality right around the time Donald Trump does. Which is never. We know from recordings of their private conversations that many Republicans don’t believe the horseshit they peddle to the Trump Death Cult. I think Greene is a true believer. I’m willing to bet you lunch — how about a bowl of gestapo?
Benjamin Franklin said, “We are all born ignorant, but one must work hard to remain stupid.” If true, Greene is the hardest-working imbecile in Congress. And like the best athletes, she makes it look easy.
The latest self-own from the woman who compared wearing masks during the pandemic to the Holocaust:
Republicans (screaming for months before the midterms): “Lower gas prices, Biden!”
Biden: “Okay.”
Republicans: “WAIT, NO —”
GQP/Fox Snowflakes Will Believe Anyfuckingthing
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Who even knew A&W had a mascot?
Anyway, I’d love to see a list of the many, many times someone posted a spoof or joke that the far-right took seriously. It would be an extremely long list.