Merry Griftmas! Trump Is Selling Digital "Trading Cards" For $99 Each. That's His Major Announcement.
Will loyal MAGA Dolts really pay $100 for a single jpg of shitty art and a poorly photoshopped psuedo-Trump? This appears to be merely his latest money-laundering scheme.
UPDATED (7:45 PM ET)!
“All you need is . . . a credit card”
“Just like baseball cards” . . . but completely different, in every way.
Hello everyone, this is Donald Trump. Hopefully your favorite president of all time. Better than Lincoln, better than Washington, with an important announcement to make. I'm doing my first Official Donald J. Trump NFT collection right here and right now. They're called Trump Digital Trading Cards. These cards feature some of the really incredible artwork pertaining to my life and my career. It's been very exciting.
You can collect your Trump Digital Cards like a baseball card or other collectibles. Here's one of the best parts, each card comes with an automatic chance to win amazing prizes like dinner with me. I don't know if that's an amazing prize, but it's what we have.
Or golf with you and a group of your friends at one of my beautiful golf courses, and they are beautiful. I'm also doing Zoom calls, a one-on-one-meeting, Autographing memorabilia and so much more. We're doing a lot.
My Official Trump Digital Trading Cards are $99 which doesn't sound like very much for what you're getting. Buy one and you will join a very exlcusive community. It’s my community and I think it's something you're going to like and you're going to like it a lot.
They also make perfect gifts, so you can buy them with your credit card or crypto. All you need is an email address. Go to CollectTrumpCards.com and buy your Trump Digital Trading Cards right now before they are all gone and they will be gone.
This is my first Official Trump Trading Card NFT collection and you get a chance to meet me. Go to CollectTrumpCards.com right now and remember Christmas is coming and this makes a great Christmas gift.
Trump struggles to read his cue cards at various points and plays air accordion throughout. His grifts have been getting more and more transparent. At this point, Trump might as well say: “Send me your money and I will put it in my wallet.”
The website is . . . something else.
For the first time ever, collect your own rare digital collectible Trading Card by President Trump.
These are just like baseball cards, but you collect them digitally, on your computer or phone. All you need is an email address and a credit card to start collecting 1, 10, 20 or 100. Instantly become part of a new league of collectors.
Travis Gettys of Salon reports that MAGA World is less than enthusiastic":
The announcement was met with widespread ridicule.
“Losing the plot,” said Washington Post columnist Philip Bump.
QAnon adherents had speculated Trump would announce he was making himself a candidate for speaker of the House, reported author Mike Rothschild, who noted that conspiracy theorists believed that would be his next step in returning to office.
“Trump’s MAJOR ANNOUNCEMENT was an NFT collection,” tweeted Rothschild, author of “The Storm Is Upon Us.” “It’s so lame that I’m not even including a screen shot. Congrats to everyone who saw this for the pathetic attention grab that it always was.”
“So Trump’s ‘MAJOR ANNOUNCEMENT’ was actually just a grift to promote a bunch of worthless trading cards,” tweeted conservative Ben Kew, editor-at-large for Human Events. “Even my grandmother knows NFTs are a scam.” . . .
“When he announced in 2015, Trump was on a mission to ridicule the establishment,” said EpochTV host Hans Mahncke. “Now he’s just ridiculing himself."
“Sure, inflation is wrecking the economy, Russia and China are on the move, the culture war wages at home, but at least presidential candidate Donald Trump is offering voters Trump Digital Trading Cards they can buy for $99 each,” wrote Fox News breaking news editor Chris Pandolfo. . . .
“Good lord the former president is hawking $99 nfts of amateurish photoshops of himself,” wrote Minnesota Reformer reporter Christopher Ingraham. “I normally try to avoid doing Trump Discourse but this is one of the most cringe things I have *ever* seen.”
“Donald Trump just announced a brand new way to steal from his supporters,” tweeted comedian Steve Hofstetter.
The fine print at Trump’s website states that purchasers cannot choose what card they want to buy. Only after you pay $100 will you see which random jpg you have bought — and all sales are final!
Friend, I just spent $1,188.00 to purchase these 12 amazing Trump Digital Trading Cards. And I want to share them with YOU, Friend. Do not share these with anyone else. These are a special gift from ME to YOU.
And remember . . . these cards “feature some of the really incredible artwork pertaining to [Trump’s] life and [Trump’s] career”. lol
It looks like the 11-year-old kid who was paid $20 to make these cheap pieces of shit left the glasses on the pilot a little bit too high. . . . Why put outer space behind the pilot and a flag motif behind the astronaut (who actually looks a little like Biden)? . . . Hey, it’s bow-legged Trump on the football field — skinner than he has been in 40 years — after some wrangling out on the back 40. . . . The yard line numbers on an actual football field all end with “0”. . . . I don’t know who provided the signature for the auto racing card, but it wasn’t Trump.
So, so, so pathetic. And absolutely hilarious. If people do not ridicule Trump about this stunt for the rest of his life, it will be a huge, wasted opportunity.
But the real question is: Will MAGA World finally realize that the only thing Trump cares about is bleeding their wallets dry?
That remains to be seen.