Unflattering Nicknames "The Orange Turd" And "Von ShitzInPantz" Introduced Into Evidence By Trump's Own Attorneys

Will Trump be able to control himself when Michael Cohen takes the stand on Monday? He'd probably be better off if he fell asleep.

Last week, evidence at Donald Trump’s New York election interference trial revealed that Michael Cohen’s nickname for his former boss is Von ShitzInPants and Stormy Daniels once referred to Trump on social media as “the orange turd”. Both of those names were first spoken in court by Trump’s attorneys while they stood next to their sleeping (?) client. (Well, he should be happy that everyone at the trial did not hear about his “yeti pubes” and his “toadstool” dick, which is “smaller than average”, but “not freakishly small”.)

Trump is furious because attorney Todd Blanche (whose efforts at destroying his legal reputation are going amazingly well) agreed with Judge Juan Merchan on a point related to the court’s gag order on Trump. “Trump shot around and glared at his own lawyer in disbelief, his mouth hanging open. He then turned back around to face forward, repeatedly shaking his head no,” according to ABC News.

Trump is attempting to micromanage his lawyers’ behaviour in court — and he’s extremely annoyed they are not obeying his orders to be more aggressive (or hostile) with witnesses and the judge. Trump is also complaining to various people that his lawyers are costing too much money.

Trump attorney Susan Necheles actually asked the judge if he would be willing to review Trump’s social media rants (as well as go through “a stack of newspaper articles” for possible re-posting) and pre-approve them before they are posted. Judge Merchan said, in effect, GTFO.

Trump falls asleep in court on more days than not, but he hasn’t been insisting that he’s taking the “most perfect naps” of any defendant ever. In other words, no big, strong men have come up to him with tears in their eyes, even men who never cried as babies, crying and telling him, “Sir, thank you so much for dozing off in that freezing cold icebox, even though none of the dozens of other people in the room have mentioned the temperature even once, your making America great even when unconscious means everything to me and my family, sir.”

Trump seems to understand falling asleep in court is embarrassing, which as David A. Graham (The Atlantic) points out, is “unusual for a man who, when caught in what might otherwise be a shameful situation, more commonly acts proud”. The Orange Turd says he has never fallen asleep in court. “I simply close my beautiful blue eyes, sometimes, listen intensely, and take it ALL in!!!”

Trump’s lawyers are trying various things to keep him awake, including giving him color printouts of articles that say how awesome he is. He can amuse himself with those while the adults do law stuff — “much like a child with an iPad at a restaurant, he needs to be entertained”. MSNBC’s Lisa Rubin reported another trick: “When there are sidebars, one attorney doesn’t leave his side anymore because leaving him alone means leaving him to potentially sleep.”

Trump’s non-stop emails to his cult members begging for their paychecks are getting more desperate. Here are two recent ones:

BIDEN’S CORRUPT COURT IS HOLDING ME HOSTAGE . . . Making me sit in court every day when I should be FIGHTING FOR AMERICA. . . . BUT I WILL NEVER STOP FIGHTING TO SAVE AMERICA! . . . I'm counting on every MAGA Patriot to chip in and say: END THE WITCH HUNT!

Radical Left Democrats want to TAKE EVERYTHING FROM ME, but they'll never take YOU! And to show my appreciation for your unwavering support . . . I’m inviting you to be my special guest at Mar-a-Lago. Hosting one of my beloved supporters during this dark time would mean SO MUCH TO ME. It gives me something to look forward to while I’m sitting in BIDEN’S SHAM TRIAL. This could be your LAST CHANCE to tour Mar-a-Lago, Friend. Enter to meet me there BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE!

Nothing about Diaper Don is authentic. Everything is a fake, a scam, and a con. For a recent photo op at a Manhattan firehouse (which Trump referred to the FDNY as “NYFD” in two quickly-deleted posts), Trump re-delivered already-delivered pizzas. And he stayed less than 10 minutes, leaving as soon as possible.

The cross-examination of Stormy Daniels by Necheles was described as “bullying” and “victim-shaming”, a “colossal blunder”, not merely a “disaster”, but a “complete disaster and a fiasco”. Necheles made what Rubin called a “constant” effort to paint Daniels as promiscuous and a liar, attacking her dignity and credibility, trying (and failing) to embarrass Daniels by repeatedly mentioning her sex work. Daniels has no shame about how she makes a living and she was open to discussing it. From Slate: “The Grim Cross-Examination of Stormy Daniels Could Double as a Class in How the Law Mistreats Women”

Necheles hammered away — for unknown reasons — on various irelevant matters, such as why Daniels kept referring to the meeting in Trump’s room as “dinner” if she never ate any food. Necheles also showed herself to be severely irony-challenged by trying to discredit Daniels by tarring her as a money-hungry grifter selling indictment-themed items in a blatant cash-grab.

Necheles should have limited her cross to asking Daniels a few questions, showing that she knows nothing about the falsified business records. Instead, Necheles asked questions for nearly an hour before getting to the time Daniels was in Trump’s hotel room. Throughout her second day of testimony, Daniels got the best of Trump’s high-priced attorney, getting off more than a few quips.

Daniels also was able to make it clear that although the sexual encounter was consensual under the law, it was most definitely unwanted and her testimony revealed Trump’s chronic misogyny, as well as his contempt and casual mistreatment of women, his “sense of immense impunity and privilege”.

Daniels said that Trump told her that he and Melania “actually don’t even sleep in the same room”. Remember, this was back in 2006, one year after Trump and Melanie were married. I doubt the relationship has gotten any warmer in the ensuing years.

Shan Wu (Under Color of Law): “Like the rest of Trump’s team, Necheles had a strong reputation, but from the very opening of her cross-examination, her tactics indicated that either that reputation was completely unjustified or she had chosen disregard her skills and training in order to please her client”

When Trump’s lawyers asked (again) for a mistrial because of what Daniels revealed when questioned by prosecutors, Judge Merchan noted that Necheles should have objected to many questions, and he wondered “why on Earth” she did not. Merchan said he had objected to some questions when Necheles was silent. The mistrial request was denied — though perhaps the non-objections and extensive questions on cross were done deliberately so as to use them later on appeal as unfair.

Also

Prosecutors disclosed the terms of Allen Weisselberg’s severance agreement, which would pay him $750,000 as long as he refuses to cooperate with law enforcement regarding Trump’s many crimes. Another “hush-money” deal. Weisselberg is currently in prison for committing perjury at Trump’s bank fraud trial, for which he also served time in jail for business fraud.

A sex discrimination suit against Trump’s 2016 election campaign has led to new accusations that Trump violated federal laws by using campaign money for settlement payments (which appear “specifically designed to evade the consequences of federal disclosure laws that require campaigns to publicly report the identities of payment recipients”) to women who raised “complaints of gender discrimination, pregnancy discrimination, and sexual harassment”. The law firm representing Trump’s campaign in this matter suddenly quit last week. Trump’s new firm is headed by Jeremy Schulmann, who has been charged with forging documents to access $12.5 million in Somali state assets.

Trump may owe the IRS more than $100 million because he “used a dubious accounting move to claim improper tax breaks” on a building in Chicago. Trump reportedly tried to gain tax benefits by writing off the same losses twice.

Trump Media’s accounting firm has been charged with “massive fraud”.

Trump doesn’t know the age of his youngest son.

At recent rallies, Trump has said the following:

“Silence of the Lamb. Has anyone ever seen The Silence of the Lamb? The late, great Hannibal Lecter — is a wonderful man. He oftentimes would have a friend for dinner. Remember the last scene? ‘Excuse me. I’m about to have a friend for dinner,’ as this poor doctor walked by. ‘I’m about to have a friend for dinner.’ But Hannibal Lecter. Congratulations. The late, great Hannibal Lecter . . .”

“And remember this, they also want to take your gas stoves, they want to give you very little water in your dishwashers and your washing machines, you know, they want washing machines with very little water and I’m talking about in states like your state — you don’t have a water problem — you do have a water problem, you have too much water. They want to take your water out of your washing machines, your dishwashers, they want to put water restrictors on your sinks and showers. You know I ended all of that. People would buy a new home and they were so proud and they’d say Darling, it’s so good, there’s only one problem, darling, the sink no water comes out like drip drip drip and darling, I have beautiful hair but I can’t do anything because in the shower the water doesn’t come out, darling, I want to get out of this house I hate it and I say to him, take off the restrictor, but now they made the restrictor where you can’t take it off unless you have a blowtorch okay.”